Mihran Kalaydjian - 10 Things You Must Do On First Dates

By Mihran Kalaydjian, CHA

1. Teach Overseas

How it works: If you get on board with the right organization they pay for your airfare, visa expenses, living costs and then give you a salary to boot! This means that the majority of your salary can go toward student loans. These comprehensive employment packages are usually offered in Asian countries where EFL teachers are in high demand right now.

What you need: A TEFL certificate, strong interpersonal skills, extreme flexibility and a very strong work ethic.

2. Couchsurf

How it works: If we’re talking short-term travel, couchsurfing can take you across a whole continent without ever paying for a hotel. Sign up here and connect with locals who want to meet up with other travelers – by hosting them for free while they’re passing through.

What you need: An online account, an open mind, and the willingness to return the favor for fellow travelers once you’re back home.

3. Work on a Cruise Ship

How it works: Fun fact: cruise ships are monstrous. This means that the average ship docking out of Miami is carrying over 1,000 staff members each time it heads out to sea. Jobs range from cirque-du-soleil performer to gift shop attendant. Check out vacancies posted by major companies online, or connect with others in the industry to get the inside scoop on how they made it in. Chances are, you’re qualified to do something on a ship!

What you need: Strong customer service skills and a relative immunity to sea-sickness.

4. Apply for scholarships

How it works: If you’re continuing/beginning your education, there are plenty of scholarships available for international study. The idea is to scour OBSESSIVELY for them. Go through every link on every webpage that might remotely allow you some cash and apply to it. Do this 14+ hours a week to achieve the best success. Some grants get handed out to people who are not even entirely qualified, simply because others fail to apply. Never assume that you’re not a good fit.

What you need: Patience, resilience, and someone with very strong writing skills to edit/review your applications.

5. Work for a Travel Company

How it works: Getting hired as a tour guide/tour bus driver/travel agent actually isn’t as difficult as it seems. Many companies require as little as high school education and a brief background in customer service. Start by checking out tour/travel agency web pages and clicking on the “Employment” link that is usually hidden at the bottom of the home page in teensy, tiny font. Then learn the joys and pitfalls of working and traveling at once!

What you need: A basic knowledge of history/geography surrounding the region you’re applying for, a willingness to work long hours on little sleep and a knack for solving problems on your feet.

6. Literally just move somewhere else.

How it works: Have you ever considered that thousands of cities worldwide probably have a lower cost of living than your city? If you don’t believe me, check out this webpage. Consider making just one move to the place of your dreams and then furiously working to secure employment and build a life there. It’s scary and it’s bold but guess what – it is entirely possible!

What you need: Guts, a bit of money saved up and a like any of the above – a sense of adventure

By Mihran Kalaydjian, CHA

Make Sure It Is In Fact A Date

These days it has become confusingly common practice to just "hang out" with someone. This ambiguous and muddling invite will probably cause you to get all dressed up, go out with someone and spend the whole evening with the added anxiety of not being sure if this date is really a date. Ambiguity sucks, so if your'e the one doing the asking, for heaven's sake, just make it clear that it's a date, and if you are on the asked side of the equation, trust me the ten seconds of embarrassment for the misunderstanding are so much better than a whole night's worth of confusion (not to mention if you hug at the end really warmly, that will earn you another week of frustration).

So, now that you are both sure you are actually on a date:

Pick Somewhere Nonthreatening & Inexpensive

Try and pick a quite bar, or an out of the way coffee shop. Someplace without really loud music (so you can actually hear each other, thus speeding along the getting to know each other portion of the evening). Also, don't go to your favorite coffee-house, you know the one where all your friends hang out, because there is nothing that spoils the mood more than having to prematurely introduce your date to like everyone you know. Lastly, dating is expensive (especially if you're doing a lot of it), so maybe stick to one beer, or cup of coffee.

Make Your Own Way There

Awkward car chatter is THE worst! But more importantly, if the date goes badly you really don't want to have to add another thirty minutes onto it. Plus, it may end up snubbing your escape plan if they turn out to be completely insane, or you know, there just isn't any chemistry. Moreover, if you just met this person on OK Cupid (or some other website of your choice), you may not want them to know just yet where you live.

Dress to Impress (But Don't Go Overboard)

Shower, shave, put on some clean clothes. Look like you made an effort (because it shows the other person that you not only know how to use the shower, but that you cared enough about the meeting to make a little effort).

Keep the Conversation Light

Stay away from conversation ice-bergs like politics, dead relatives, exes, career malfunctions, childhood traumas, and so on... Just spend the time getting to know the person sitting in front of you, but don't overdo it, leave some mystery for next time. Think of coffee as an interview for a second date. Just get enough basic info and a feel for them to see if you would like to see them again.

This isn't an interview or a talk show, you both should get an equal amount of time to talk, and listening to what they have to say is also a good idea (for future reference of course).

Keep Your Cool

There is nothing worse than sitting in front of someone speechless, awkward and flustered (not to mention pit-stains). So get it together, down a shot of vodka, call your mum, or do some yoga! Just find a way to relax before the date. Go someplace you will feel comfy, have the date on your terms! Pick a coffee shop that you like, or a bar that serves your favorite comfort-cocktail. Just don't over-think it, you're either going to like each other, and hit it off, or never want to see each other again out of sheer awkwardness.

Watch Out For Deal-breakers

There really is no way of being P.C about this, we all have a list in our heads of things we won't put up with NO MATTER WHAT. So, even if this person is really lovely, but you know that you'll never ever date a cat owner again (because you are deathly allergic, and that one trip to the ER was enough) than maybe it's a good idea to end the evening as friends.

Don't Overwhelm Them

First dates should be casual; casual dress, casual location, casual conversation. Try and keep your skeletons locked up for the evening. You probably don't even know this person, and you haven't even decided if you will ever see them again, so maybe keep the heavier stuff for a little bit further down the line.

The Person Doing The Asking Is Doing The Paying

I am of the school of thought that a date is no different from a business lunch, or dinner with your parents. Whoever invited the other person to go out should pick up the tab, it's only polite. Moreover, if you only had coffee it shouldn't cost more than a few dollars, so don't try and get all philosophical about the tab, just pay it. Also, if you are paying it, do it smoothly and gracefully, refrain from awkward comments and remarks and, just give your date the feeling that it was your pleasure to treat them.

Initiate Contact

Look, first dates are confusing enough, and no one is quite sure where they stand, kissing your date good-night just lets them know you're interested (plus, it may affect your decision if they use too much saliva or tongue).